Anonymous asked: I have always loved your blog and the things you're about, but I am absolutely in love with your recent "rise with me" post. I'm a black lesbian and am so so so about that Tegan and Sara thirst transcendence. I feel like it's a qpoc manifesto and I need more.
lol im glad it resonates. ive found myself in this transitionary phase of purging myself of internalized white supremacy because its really tiring not being able to love myself bc of it. that’s the immediate reason. the self hate. so it manifests in things like getting over exclusive white girl dating preference (which has been mighty successful btw) and i find things shedding, like my sara (and tegan) infatuation- dead and gone. i mean, all five of my crushes rn are woc!! that would have been unthinkable for me a year ago! one’s even vietnamese and i find myself sweating when she speaks it. you know, thats pretty insane. given all my internalized viet and self-hate. it’s p cool. i never thought i could beat it and be happy abt it too. i havent been happy in a very long time and i think i’m gaining my ability back.
you know some whitie was mad abt that post and they were like “blah blah blah the goddamned poc movement” because they dont know what its like.. to hate yourself so much. so deeply. like the hate is mixed up in your arteries and it floods your stomach like acid in your chest and spills out of your eyes. so the praxis becomes not giving white ppl default points for being white. white ppl get y=mx+b. why does no one else get the b?
update- woc crush count: 6